To my sweet sister Charisma by Nicholas Sykes

Charisma, this from your brother since he has been feeling down and wanted to let you know how he feels and he loves you so much.

" Dear Charisma, I love you and miss you, I will always love you even after I die I will never stop loving you. I remember all the stuff you had done for me like when my first all start game or like whenever everyone was asleep I couldn't fall asleep so I started crying hoping someone would come find me and you were the only one still awake and heard me crying you opened your door you saw me crying in bed so you helped me by reading to me until I fell asleep. That is why I chose to write about my sister, she was the best."

Leave my mark

As I sit here in my chair I think about what I have done with my life. I have had 3 beautiful wonderful kids whom I love more than anything on this planet and would kill or die for any of them. Now that I couldn't save you my little girl, I failed to protect you, help you, save you and keep you alive.

Before I leave this planet either by my choice or other I want to do something for all of my kids, make a difference to help people in any way I can. I will also try to leave some kind of foundation that will be able to help people suffering for this fucked up disease that is taking so many lives and consuming so many dreams. I hate this feeling, is this how you felt on a daily basis baby girl? I am so sorry, I wish I would have had all the power in the world and remove that from you, to end your suffering without completely losing you.

I am so broken and feel so alone in my head that I feel I am not going to make it. That's why I want to leave your brothers some money to live without me and not struggle in life, at least financially. I cry all the time and when I'm not crying, I feel like crying. I am so depressed and unmotivated to do anything, not even workout like I used to.