Goodbyes

So.....

For now it is NOT a goodbye baby girl, it is I will see soon, not that soon though. I have to say that before someone misunderstands or misinterprets it.

Goodbyes hurt more when your story here wasn't finished. There's a special place in for you in my heart if you want to come back to me! ❤❤💕💔💔

I refuse to totally just give up hope that you are not here with me, am I in denial? YES!! Most definitely, I still can't say goodbye to you, you are MY little girl, if any father would read this HE would understand what I mean and I feel. Goodbye is not going to come out of my mouth, not now nor anytime soon or later. I refuse to say goodbye to you. The thought of not seeing you daily is killing me, or hearing your voice call for me, or singing with me when I go home or I am in my truck is killing me, you not here asking me for boy advice is killing me, so when I say I am dying? I mean that exactly, I am slowing dying from the inside out. I told  you that I would not know what I would do without you before, and it is exactly happening how I said it. I am lost, I am broken, I am lonely, I am exhausted, I am mad (mad at myself), I am so dead and numb on the inside.

My mind is having such a hard time wrapping itself around the fact that you are gone. When my mind goes to that day it reminds me that I may have contributed to your death because I was not there for you when you needed me the most.

Seeing you when you were born, changed my life! Raising you, Loving you changed my life! It should come as no surprise that losing you has done the same!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔

I will see you later baby girl!!

I loved you your whole life, I'll miss you for the rest of mine!

-Pa