Another bad day

Yesterday April.18, 2019 was not a good day for me, I couldn't manage to stay out of my head long enough to be very productive and to top it off, I started hyperventilating bad while staring at your pictures and remembering how sweet you were, loving, caring, giving, happy and above all you cared about your family. I couldn't stop crying, I would be listening to OUR songs and all of those moments you and I would sing them would just flood my mind. Your little smirk/smile would come racing into my head and you saying, Pa stop making me laugh, I'm being serious. I would start balling like a sissy, crying and crying uncontrollably, I had to close my door to my office. Not sure how long I will be able to keep this mask on, I show everyone that I am okay but truthfully I am very far from it. I want to talk to you, to see you to hold you and never let you go. Thinking about you all day knowing you are not here is killing me slowly, bit by bit. I want to be strong, I do but I don't think I am strong enough to survive this. I love you baby girl!!!