It seems as the days just drag on, some more than others and then there are days where it zooms by. There is not one day that I do NOT think of you. I don't know if I am strong enough to be here without you baby girl. I know that I have to be here for your brothers, but when you left you took a huge piece of my heart with you. I am missing you like crazy, EVERYDAY, endlessly! I want you back so bad.
So when we went to the Witches Museum in Salem, they were talking about the witches that made a deal with the Devil to give them supernatural powers. I immediately thought that I could do that or I should do that just to get you back. I would do ANYTHING to get you back, my beautiful freckle faced girl. I knew that my life changed when I saw you and immediately loved you, why would I not think that you leaving would not change me as well.
I started drinking heavily immediately after you left and was going down the wrong way and fast, a very dark place. I think I am messing your brothers up more than helping them, I am falling apart missing you everyday. This sux, I feel I am not strong enough to continue. I am trying to focus on working out and eating better for my health but more importantly for your brothers. I know I am not a great father or a good one at that but I know that I would be here for them whenever they need me and I need to be alive and well to do that.
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